How to Stop Compulsive Shopping for Good
I can't lie: shopping is really fun. However, it is also one of the most addictive behaviors that people fall into and have difficulty getting out of. Excessive, compulsive shopping can lead to financial trouble, self-esteem issues, and impact your family relationships. So how do you stop shopping excessively? I'll break down how financial mindfulness and mindful money management could help you feel less anxious about money.
Behind the Shopping Urge
There are many small practical steps you can take to stop compulsive shopping (read on for my top tips); however, those strategies may only get you so far because feeling the need to shop or being a compulsive shopper is often driven by deeper issues. Making one or two changes in your habits might help you manage your shopping behavior in the short term, but it is unlikely to resolve the core issue behind compulsive and mindless shopping.
The first step to curbing your spending is to identify what's behind it. Think about the last time you felt an urge to buy something. What were you feeling at that moment? How did it feel when you realized your craving was satisfied?
Now explore what needs are driving that purchase.
Are you spending money because of an ad or something you saw in social media?
Are you shopping for what you need or for your fantasy self?
Did you grow up in a household where money was tight, and your parents often said "we can't afford that"?
Are you trying to buy happiness and fulfillment?
Are feelings such as sadness, loneliness, or insecurity driving the purchase?
Do you feel you should be able to spend money like the way others around you are spending money?
Is shopping a way to treat yourself, or do you feel you deserve or have earned it?
Do you have extra space in your house or life that feels like it can be filled with things?
Are you creating shopping needs that aren't real?
My favorite question to ask now is, "What's going on there?" Identifying the driver behind your shopping compulsion is a first step to overcoming that problem. It’s never too late to start making mindful choices with your money — even if your income feels too low to make a difference.
Take Control of Your Finances
Now it's time to take action. The first step on your journey to stopping overspending on shopping is by creating a budget. Once you have set up a process for managing your finances to follow, it requires little maintenance.
If you understand where money comes from and how much goes out each month, it is easier to control your spending. Additionally, spending is a choice. With a budget you can choose how to spend your money instead of being controlled by it and buying things on impulse.
You can budget and track expenses with pencil and paper, in a spreadsheet (our clients get a free budget spreadsheet) or by using an app like Mint or Simplifi. For a step-by-step guide, read our article on setting up a budget.
Learn and Understand Needs vs. Wants
In order to spend less money when shopping, you need to learn the difference between a want and a need.
A need is something that you have to have in order to survive, such as food, clothing and shelter. A want is anything else that you may want but don't necessarily need (like concert tickets or another purse).
It can be hard to tell the difference between needs and wants because we often think about our desires as if they were needs instead of just wants. However, once we identify items that we truly need versus those which are just nice-to-haves it becomes easier over time. This can be done in the budget by categorizing your expenses into needs and wants sections.
Set Goals for Yourself to Stop Shopping
Setting measurable goals for yourself has proven success with habit changing.
Write down what you want to accomplish, such as "I will spend no more than $50 per month on clothes," or "I will only grocery shop with a list." This way, when an opportunity arises (like seeing something cute in the store or in your Instagram feed) and it takes over your thoughts and emotions, these written-down goals will help remind you of why it is important not to succumb to temptation. If accountability helps you stick with them, you may want to consider working with an certified financial coach like an AFC(R).
Check out our guide on how to create goals for simple step-by-step instructions on successful goal-setting.
Adopt a Mindful Financial Mindset
Mindful money management is about having control of your money, and acting with intention in how you earn, save, and spend. It's about being aware of what you have and what you want, and making decisions based on those two things. Mindless spending can be turned into intentional, conscious, mindful financial management by taking time to consider what you're buying and why. It’s never too late to start making mindful choices with your money — even if your income feels too low to make a difference.
Here are some tips on keeping financially mindful with regards to spending and shopping:
Before purchasing, check in with yourself and ask: does this purchase support my values? Does it improve my life and bring me joy? Where will I store it? Will I use it often enough to justify the purchase?
Setting financial goals and evaluating, before you make a purchase, whether that purchase will help or hinder your efforts to meet those goals.
Being aware of cash flow (what is coming in and going out) through budgeting.
Plan your purchases in advance and shop with a list.
Asking yourself if you really need the item at all, and if so, could you borrow or get it for free on a site like Buy Nothing instead.
Change Your Habits and Routines to Avoid Spending Temptations
There are many ways you can change your daily habits and routines to avoid spending temptations. But what works for someone else might not bring you success, so think about another time you overcame a habit and what helped you achieve success. For example, some people know that by documenting expenses or working with a professional like an Accredited Financial Counselor® (AFC®) for accountability, it helps them stick to a plan. Here are some examples:
Prioritize your spending on what you love, and don't completely deprive yourself. If you love getting coffee, budget for it! Maybe it's not 7 days a week, but Mondays and Fridays, as a special treat.
Order online and do curbside pickup instead of going into the store and being tempted to fill your cart. When shopping online, add items to your cart and wait 24 hours before checking out. That way you have time to think about whether the items are really worth buying.
Unsubscribe from email lists and unfollow social media accounts and websites that trigger unnecessary spending.
Before buying, ask yourself if you might borrow instead of purchasing - library books, sporting equipment, tools or yard equipment, small appliances, kids toys, or a special occasion dress are things you could borrow.
Create experiences with your family and friends that are fun and free. Host a clothing or book swap, a regifting party, or start a no-spend challenge. See what free events are available in your community or at your local library.
Swapping expensive habits/hobbies for low/no cost activities such as hiking, riding bikes on your local trail, writing, reading, or playing board games you haven't touched for years. Also, why not try volunteering?
Ask for Help from Trained Professionals
If you think your shopping is out of control, or if you need help in changing how much money you spend, ask for help from a trained professional. A licensed therapist or addiction specialist can help you understand why shopping has become such an issue for you, and how to avoid falling into old patterns again. They can also help set goals and stick to them over time; this is especially important when it comes to saving money.
Lastly, an Accredited Financial Counselor® (AFC®) can help with the financial practicalities and focusing on improving your finances: budgeting, setting up automatic saving and debt reduction strategies--and even help improving credit score! They can also provide you with the accountability and support that you need to succeed, much like a personal trainer, but for finances.
Be Kind to Yourself
When you make life changes, be prepared to encounter challenges. If you stumble, forgive yourself and try again. And when you do meet milestones and goals, be sure to share your success with supportive friends who can celebrate with you!
If you need help setting up a budget, making financial changes in your life, or just have questions, please feel free to contact Journey Financial Wellness.
More Resources:
Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin
Atomic Habits by James Clear
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg